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Insecurities and wounds of past Relationships

From the wounds of past relationships and current contacts, I bleed from battering given and received.

As a child, I thought life was a fairy tale, when home got too hot as a teenager, I spent hours dreaming of a world where things were easier and Momma would realise how grown I was.

Where I’d be able to call the shots and create my own heaven, I ran off to Uni. But that had its own trapping of challenges.

I managed to scrape through, surely marriage would be a cocoon from all the emotional upheavals- an emotional bed of roses.

But it turned out to be fumental boxing ring Sometimes with the referee securely bound with blames.

In it I thought all my insecurities would fade, But there my little pride farewell I bade.

I have had my confidence shattered by the very one who gave me all that mattered. In desperation I withdrew
into the only haven I knew. I am so bruised all I know to do is blame.

But I have learnt from all my bruisings that Gratitude is the only attitude that can change my attitude because Promotion comes neither from the East or the West but from God above and if He has determined to punish because He chastens the child He loves. Like Job, I will not rebel

Because He gives and takes away and if my way pleases Him. He may decide to make my enemies be at peace with me, so I will thank Him and when He considers me to be of age (mature)

I will become an heir and get my possession, I will not love the gift and forsake the giver.

Don’t wanna learn the hard way like the prodigal son because the gift may well run out, but the giver never will

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